I Shaved My Legs For This

I figured that if conditions become severe, and I need to saw a hole through my roof and climb out of it, the emergency rescue officials would most likely not want to rescue the wooly-mammoth girl first. I figure that to lug a 6 ft. man-sized chick up a string hanging from a helicopter must not be much fun anyway, so any extra incentives would really help my situation.

Besides, shaving my legs and straightening my hair gives me one up on the unwedded pregnant chicks next door.And I bet you THEY won't have little debbie snack cakes.