The Christmas Tree Chronicles... Crash and Burn

Today I went shopping for my first Christmas tree. I have yet to decide on the actual tree, but ornaments at Hobby Lobby were half-off... couldn't resist. Cute-Boy-Randy works at Hobby Lobby. I first met cute-boy-Randy when my grandmommy, my mama, and I were shopping a couple of weeks ago. Intercom lady paged for someone to get my grandmommy's tree down for us... and from the back of the store, in all his glory, he came. 'Twas cuteboyrandy... and just as he got to the counter, the intercom lady said "CANCEL THAT, RANDY," and the short, hairy, weird-accent-total-dispointment-of-a-tree-getter-manager-man put the tree in our basket. (Who does he think he is? The greatest Hobby Lobby manager on earth, or what? Lay off the pronto tree-getting, sasquatch. Some of us want to flirt with cuteboyrandy. Geez.)

The next time I went to Hobby Lobby, he held the door open for me and said "Have a Nice Day, Ma'am." (uh...what the heck, cuteboyrandy, don't call me "ma'am" ever again or I will punch you in the face before all of Hobby Lobby.)

So today, just as I picked up a beautiful glass ornament with intricate black filigree on it, a distraction other than that of black dot caught my eye, and all I could see was cuteboyrandy. Yeah. Right up until I dropped the ornament and it broke into a million peices on the floor.

And who comes to help me in my desperate time of need, and to sweep the tiny, shattered, slivers of hope that cuteboyrandy might tell me to have a nice day again and throws them all away?

short-hairy-always-getting-in-the-way-of-contact-with-cute-boy-randy-his-childhood-dream-was-to-be-the-greatest-hobby-lobby-manager-of-all-time-manager-man.

Here are my first christmas tree decorations...