The Chocolate Surprise.

Country Cones are delicious in every way. However, there is only ONE reason for eating a Country Cone, and that is what I like to call the "chocolate surprise." This, my friends, is the big hunk of chocolate at the bottom of the cone. Maybe none of you previously realized that the "chocolate surprise" was the only reason you ate a Country Cone, but right now you're thinking, "Hey, that really is the only reason I want to eat one, but I didn't realize it until right this very moment after reading this fantastic blog."
Here is another simple fact. Country Cones are expensive. Off-brand Country Cones do not always have a "chocolate surprise." So really, all I wanted to say in this blog is that if you were the maker of off-brand Country Cones (say you work at Kroger or what have you)... when one of your advisors came to you and said, "Sir, did you want to include that piece of choclate at the bottom of the cone, or were you planning on making people miserable?" Would you respond with "Oh, just leave it out. Not important."? Or say you had a group of taste-testers and one guy says, "Hey mine's missing the chocolate hunk at the end. What a gall-dern rip off!" Wouldn't you then realize that it was important?? Its just a big deal to alot of people that's all I'm saying. Goodday.

Randy's Status.

I realize I haven't blogged in quite some time, so I thought that while entertaining all of my many fans (ahem), that I would also update you all on Hurley life. Randy left for his first deployment in March. He went to Japan, Thailand, is currently on ship going to Indonesia, and at some point he will be participating in the D-Day reenactment excercise in South Korea. Which is pretty cool. Although I'm just going to say that I don't know how intimidating it is for a country who is being threatened and attacked by it's enemy to perform a pretend excercise with it's ally on it's own soil. I mean, I don't know a whole lot about these kinds of strategies and what-not, and I'm not doubting the USMC...I'm just saying that I don't understand it. Anyway, he'll be coming home we think in August, possibly September, we don't know for sure. Meanwhile I am living with my mom and dad, and am working two jobs doing hair and makeup for weddings, photoshoots, special events, etc...

Elyptical Machines Are For Girls...I Think.

When I arrive at the gym I always walk to the elyptical machines and I take note of the people that are on them, where an empty one is, who it's next to, etc... Mainly because I don't want to get right next to a really fantastic-amazing-sexy-girl with a rock hard body and fabulous long flowing hair, or next to a creep. This part of the arrival is necessary, however is usually not a difficult assessment because there are generally only women on the elyptical machines. Once I have mentally surveyed and chosen my particular machine, I put my headphones in and play Fergalicious (because she says, "I be up in the gym just workin' on my fitness.") and start running. Now, I don't know if it's just me, or my butt, but a good 15 minutes into my run I look around and realize that there are no longer women on the elypticals, but only large black men. I never said that men, or black men for that matter, couldn't use elyptical machines. I just find it strange that there are never any there until after I am. Maybe I should stop being paranoid, or maybe I should wear baggier clothes to work out in. I'm just saying it's weird, that's all.

My life.

So on sunday, May 24, Randy asked my daddy if he could marry me. And my daddy said yes. Now, I know you are all sitting on the edge of your seats just waiting to see what happens next in my life, but don't get in a panic because the wedding won't be for another year... But I hope to have many hilarious bridal blogs to share with you along the way.

P.S. I have decided that I will be collecting all of the white flowers in the whole world (amoung other things) for the next year so that our wedding will be covered in glittering flowers. Yay.

(Ladies: must see!) A Little Crime We Like To Call DIVERSION.

Why is it that when you read the back of a professional, high-end hair product that it is "intended for sale in a professional salon ONLY," and you happen to be standing at KROGER do you then decide to continue on with the purchasing of that product? It is obviously not supposed to be sold there. Paul Mitchell didn't just think it would be cute to hit you with a little April Fools on the back of the bottle. Seriously. I'm assuming that you may have wondered why that was printed on the bottle and then I guess you just figured that after the creators of Pureology put that in their design they all laughed and said "just kidding!!!" Or something. I'm not sure what happened to you that day...
Or you've probably gone to a salon and thought, "why does this PROFESSIONAL hair stylist keep saying how important it is to buy your professional products from a professional hair salon? GEEZ!" Or you probably thought they were cheaper or something. whatever.

On a more serious note,
You NEED TO KNOW THIS!!! So watch this video... it will save you some money!!

http://www.matrix.com/videos/message.aspx



bye.

Stupid People.

----- Original Message -----
From: "Eric Phelps"
To: Heatherockstar@comcast.net
Sent: Thursday, December 11, 2008 6:09:13 PM GMT -06:00 US/Canada Central
Subject: Skinit.com Customer Service



Dear Customer,



I sincerely apologize for the inconvenience you have experienced in regards to your orders and at this time I have issued the refunds. Thank you for your patience regarding this matter and please let me know if you have any questions.



Regards,



Eric Phelps

Skinit.com Customer Service


AND THIS WAS MY REPLY....

The money has STILL not been refunded to my account, and you are not welcome for my patience regarding this matter, because I refuse to allow myself to grant you any. It's ridiculous. Because of these transactions, I have paid two separate overdraft fees, I am negative the amount of each transaction plus 70 dollars. I am in constant contact with my bank about this situation and will be filing a claim if the money is not refunded to my account by the end of business hours on Tuesday, December 16. I have always been satisfied with your product, however, one of your customer service staff told me that they simply must have "forgotten" to cancel the transactions. I feel that it is unacceptable to "forget" something that can cause a person over $100 debt and can potentially ruin their credit. When I asked for the orders to be cancelled a over a week ago, someone should have IMMEDIATELY taken action. You may also want to look into hiring some staff with at least a mild amount of intelligence. Any IQ at all would be great. Thanks.

The Bathroom Door.

I find it very irritating when visitors arrive at my house. Aside from the fact that I am not very fond of actual people, I think that it may be because visitors shut the bathroom door.
I am very bothered by this. Not that they shut the door during the act of utilizing the facility, that is clearly expected, but that they shut the door afterwards. I see no reason for this. It only causes confusion for those who wish to enter the bathroom at a later time. You linger around the bathroom door thinking that someone must be inside and you don't want to knock, but after 20 minutes you can only assume that person must be doing some serious business in the bathroom of your own home. After debating and quarrelling over it with yourself you finally decide that knocking may be necessary, and when nobody answers you think, "maybe they are too embarrassed to admit that they have, in fact, been in the bathroom for 20 whole minutes, and they would then be clearly admitting to taking a massive 20-minute-long-poopie in my bathroom."
With this, I ask you, please do not shut the door after exiting the bathroom. I do realize that sometimes this may be a step in preventing the smell from seeping into the rest of the house, however, smelling poopie is quite obviously less agonizing than the aforementioned guessing game.